Blood and Guts in High School by Kathy Acker

Author:Kathy Acker
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
ISBN: 9780241302521
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2017-06-28T04:00:00+00:00

‘I go crazy when I want to fuck a guy,’ Hester thinks to herself. ‘How will any man ever love me? How can I be happy if a man doesn’t fuck and love me? But look at Pearl. She’s happy and she doesn’t fuck.’

Pearl’s four years old. She’s as wild as they come. Wild in the Puritan New England society Hawthorne writes about means evil anti-society criminal. Wild. Wild. Wild. Going wherever you want to go and doing whatever you want to do and not even thinking about it. ‘Why did you get stoned?’ the Persian slave trader asked me this morning. In ‘primitive’ ‘wild’ societies like Haiti the word ‘why’ doesn’t exist. Pearl, according to Mr Hawthorne, wears hippy clothes and runs around in the forest and makes no distinction between what’s outside her and her dreams. On the whole she doesn’t make many distinctions. She doesn’t know human beings exist. Sometimes she senses human beings exist. She senses a black vertical mist that’s a wall pressing into her as if on top of her. She wants to scream. She feels helpless.

She doesn’t like people much.

She notices Hester her mother. Once she notices someone she’ll stick by that person she’ll open herself up she is soft and totally hurtable that’s what being wild is. (Secretly.) (Privately.) ’Cause once you’re open like that you’re a real person ’cause you’re no longer separated from other people. It’s dangerous. Whatever happens to you happens to the ones you’re connected with. Whatever happens to them happens to you. It’s scary and dangerous to open yourself to someone. Not that you ever have any choice.

The townspeople think Pearl’s evil because she lives off the roads. ‘No man will ever love a woman like you when you grow up,’ say the townspeople. ‘The roads are our civilization. They’re the order men have impressed on chaos so that men’s lives can be safer and more secure and, thus, so that we can all progress. Human life gets better and better.’

The roads are getting so super-paved and big and light and loaded with BIG MACS and HOWARD JOHNSONS that the only time people are forced into danger or reality is when they die. Death is the only reality we’ve got left in our nicey-nicey-clean-ice-cream-TV society so we’d better worship it. S & M sex. Punk rock. Don’t you know, you can step into the snow, the raging ocean and the freezing snow, you can step into danger …

anytime you please …

step into me …

The government, the big multinational businessmen, the scholars and teachers, and the cops are the people who maintain the roads. The scientists, philosophers, and artists are the people who build the roads. Everyone’s a slave.

‘Who can I talk to?’ Hester screams.

These most important men in the world decide it’s their duty to tear the mother away from her child. They want to keep the child so they can train the child to suck their cocks. That’s what’s known as education. ‘Who can I talk to?’ Hester screams.

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